Sunday, June 18, 2006
CHICK FEARS RETURN TO MCCARTHY ERA
Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks lives with incredible anxiety everyday. One that makes her shudder and fear for, if not the lives, but the commercial success of her chicklet bandmates. "I do really fear that we are headed for a return to the McCarthy Era. Naming names and punishing stars, such as myself, although I am more of a mega star really, for their political beliefs. I think we just might be returning to the era of fear induced from that dummy."
A clearly distraught Maines voice showed emotion even though her face, wearing a singular expression from too much plastic surgery did not. "Those wooden dolls are creepy. And when that disembodied voice, which was really like Candace Bergen I think, began accusing people of being Communists, it was extremely tragic." "Charlie McCarthy was the root of all evil and I believe we are about to return to those days again. Whatever happened to Wayland Flowers and Madam, now there was no animosity there, huh?"
Fellow Dixie Chickians Martie Maguire and Emily Robison seconded and thirded Maines concerns. Said Robison, "It is like that movie Child's Play where Chucky comes to life as Senator McCarthy except Chucky is Bush and Laura Bush is like Bride of Chucky, wasn't that Jennifer Tilly? Is she on the laundry list?" "I think you mean black list," interjected Maguire. "I also think you are getting confused. You sound like one of the dumb jerk, redneck, idiots that listen to country music. I mean you know the in-bred, red state, flag wavers that gave us our start, loved us and made us multi-millionaires."
"But back to the point," continued Maguire, "it was really frightening when this McCarthy from like Minnesota, or Michigan or Alberta you know one of those northern states, could label people communists while his master, J Edgar Bergen drank a glass of water." Speaking as the educated Chick, Maguire stated "J Edgar Bergen was head of the AFL-CIA-FBI-CIO and was Candace Bergen's, I love Murphy Brown by the way, husband."
"So, we're not ready to make nice just like our song says, right, it does say that right?........Anyway, we don't really care what our fans think because, well, they disgust us. We are loved in France and that is where our plastic surgeons are. We are too good for them anyway. But, hey, still buy our albums, 'kay, because we do love your money."
A clearly distraught Maines voice showed emotion even though her face, wearing a singular expression from too much plastic surgery did not. "Those wooden dolls are creepy. And when that disembodied voice, which was really like Candace Bergen I think, began accusing people of being Communists, it was extremely tragic." "Charlie McCarthy was the root of all evil and I believe we are about to return to those days again. Whatever happened to Wayland Flowers and Madam, now there was no animosity there, huh?"
Fellow Dixie Chickians Martie Maguire and Emily Robison seconded and thirded Maines concerns. Said Robison, "It is like that movie Child's Play where Chucky comes to life as Senator McCarthy except Chucky is Bush and Laura Bush is like Bride of Chucky, wasn't that Jennifer Tilly? Is she on the laundry list?" "I think you mean black list," interjected Maguire. "I also think you are getting confused. You sound like one of the dumb jerk, redneck, idiots that listen to country music. I mean you know the in-bred, red state, flag wavers that gave us our start, loved us and made us multi-millionaires."
"But back to the point," continued Maguire, "it was really frightening when this McCarthy from like Minnesota, or Michigan or Alberta you know one of those northern states, could label people communists while his master, J Edgar Bergen drank a glass of water." Speaking as the educated Chick, Maguire stated "J Edgar Bergen was head of the AFL-CIA-FBI-CIO and was Candace Bergen's, I love Murphy Brown by the way, husband."
"So, we're not ready to make nice just like our song says, right, it does say that right?........Anyway, we don't really care what our fans think because, well, they disgust us. We are loved in France and that is where our plastic surgeons are. We are too good for them anyway. But, hey, still buy our albums, 'kay, because we do love your money."
