Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Dear Blonde, Thin, Fashionably Togged Walkers
Hi! Just wanted to drop you a note to inform you that you are going to die. NO this is not a threat or a wish but, let's face it, the odds are not in your favor. When you are walking along Windsor ROAD between Staley ROAD and Duncan ROAD near the overpass during rush hour, not on the side of the road, not on the grass, not on the bike path BUT IN THE ROAD DURING RUSH HOUR, your chances of survival seem slim to me.
Take this morning for example. You both were be-bopping along shoulder to shoulder discussing Dr Phil, Oprah or Desperate Housewives and YOU WERE IN TRAFFIC! I kindly shouted at you get the HMMMMM out of the road as I traveled by on the opposite side. Luckily others on your side whose tons of careening metal death were headed directly towards you slowed down while I passed on the shoulder of my side of the road so they could give you the wide berth you feel you must deserve.
I simply have to think you were the "bright lights" actually crossing the overpass in this manner one Saturday morning. I again was approaching you from the back on the other side of the road admiring your complete ignorance when the car rushed up from the other direction over the hill. Now on the overpass there was no room for me to swerve on to a shoulder where I could safely let the other car get into my lane because you were WALKING IN THE ROAD on his side. I had slowed down and fortunately his car had good brakes. That did not seem to bother you either.
So, my suggestion is that you please safety pin, your name, vital information and next of kin onto your chic walking gear, perhaps in several places in case body parts become separated, and by all means continue to walk right on the pavement of a busy road during rush hour. Darwin is watching you.
Take this morning for example. You both were be-bopping along shoulder to shoulder discussing Dr Phil, Oprah or Desperate Housewives and YOU WERE IN TRAFFIC! I kindly shouted at you get the HMMMMM out of the road as I traveled by on the opposite side. Luckily others on your side whose tons of careening metal death were headed directly towards you slowed down while I passed on the shoulder of my side of the road so they could give you the wide berth you feel you must deserve.
I simply have to think you were the "bright lights" actually crossing the overpass in this manner one Saturday morning. I again was approaching you from the back on the other side of the road admiring your complete ignorance when the car rushed up from the other direction over the hill. Now on the overpass there was no room for me to swerve on to a shoulder where I could safely let the other car get into my lane because you were WALKING IN THE ROAD on his side. I had slowed down and fortunately his car had good brakes. That did not seem to bother you either.
So, my suggestion is that you please safety pin, your name, vital information and next of kin onto your chic walking gear, perhaps in several places in case body parts become separated, and by all means continue to walk right on the pavement of a busy road during rush hour. Darwin is watching you.
