pick a lil' blog a lil'

A couple of weeks ago I took my five year old collie, Madison, for her yearly shake down that "the Man" requires. She received her rabies shot, her Lepro shot, and all her other immunizations. I'm thinking of enrolling her in kindergarten since she is now fully immunized. I got a wonderful blue tag to go on her collar for all the effort and I also paid the bill to Douglas County which requires all this hoopla plus a fee for registering the dog. Registered for what I don't know? If I lived in Chicago the Democrats would probably have her voting. Maybe she can now carry a hand gun? And I really don't know what the "fee" is for since the County has no animal control unit. However, I think I might have an inkling of how it might be used....for doggie and kitty rehab.

Now Collies go through a shedding period which generally runs from January to December.... Seriously, during the change of seasons, you have all this hair coming out, all this hair coming in and underneath the beautiful long hair on the outer coat do you know what you'll find? No, not Jimmy Hoffa. MORE HAIR! This of course can lead to much biting and chewing and grooming much like you might find backstage at a beauty pageant. Now, one of our omni-present neighborhood experts pronounced she had fleas.(which she most certainly does not) It does turn out that the real vet says she has allergies, probably to grass etc... So, Madison was sent home with prescriptions for Cephalexin and Clemastine. They cost about 20 bucks a piece so I did not envision a drug run on a bus to Canada with a bunch of other pet owners....yet.

Somehow I was conned into being convinced she also needed her teeth cleaned. This would involve anesthesia for the cleaning, the tooth pulling, the capping, and dentures for all I knew. I agreed because what kind of pet owner would I be if my dog did not have that Pepsodent smile. My Mom picked her up from the vet and called me to tell me she was really out of it.

When I got home, I had to agree. On top of the other two rx, we now have Allerderm EFA-CAPS(dermatologist recommended), Elodolac(sounds like yodeling doesn't it), Ciprofloxacin, and some CET Dental Rinse(rinse and spit!). She also got the mother of all drugs, Prednisolone. Now, my Mom was taking this for her arthritis and it made her feel great but the doctor cut her off because you only take it for so long because it is a steroid. So now my dog will have clean teeth, great skin, an even temperment, and healthy joints. Next thing you know she'll be moving out, getting an apartment of her own, meeting the right fella.... (cue Mary Tyler Moore music) you're gonna make it after all (as she jauntily tosses her milk bone in the air).

However, as I stood and stared at the budding pharmacy on the counter I began to think....w.w.j.d....what would Judy do(as in Garland). Well, we all KNOW what she would have done and it struck fear into my heart. I resolved to carefully monitor my furry, four-legged daughter for signs of chemical dependence. I did not want her giving the cat, Miss Emmy, cash to go out and drug shop for Oxycontin or anything like that.

I thought I might hang a picture of Nancy Reagan over her dog dish, JUST SAY NO! I might make her watch some videotapes of Liza Minelli, Boy George, or Elizabeth Taylor. That should scare her "straight". In the end, I'll probably just hope and pray that I have raised her to make sound and moral decisions. Oh, Lord......MOM! outta the Prednisolone! We got bus tickets to Canada for that.