pick a lil' blog a lil'

HOW NOT TO START THE DAY
I have a conversation with the banshees at Captial One Credit card about closing out my CAP ONE Platinum card and keeping my CAP ONE Gold card with an increased credit limit, by the by, less than both cards added together. On Saturday, I had been told this was okay but evidently due to the lunar eclipse Sunday, no it was not okay. I was transferred by clueless CAP ONE goof to supervisory goof who asked, no lie, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM????? Their commercial asks, what's in your wallet? Definitely not a Capital One card....

YOU'VE GOT..........GAS
Undeterred by the less than auspicious start, at lunch, I go to get gas, no pun intended. I pull into the place and roll right up to the pump at the busy station. I get out. I go to pump. I fold, spindle and manipulate the pump. I turn around. I am in the OLD car. The tank is on the other side. sigh. I reverese every step. I get back in the car and pull forward into a parking space at the convenience mart. I start to back up but gran-ma-ma, in her horseless carriage, had pulled in smack dab behind me. I did not honk as i figured i would be accused of manslaughter for causing granny's heart attack. So i wait......granny MOVES!...........right thru the station and out the other entrance! Before i could react, a pre-teen who could obviously only have a learners permit, cruised in to MY pump!!. I then had to back out and wait behind someone else! Curses to the old and the young. Now I pay at the pump because I don't want to have to go inside. I am asked, do you want a reciept. I say yes. whirr, whirr, whirr. I stand there staring intently at the place where my receipt should be printing then a voice comes over the loud speaker out of nowhere, much like God, SIR YOU WILL HAVE TO COME IN FOR YOUR RECEIPT. I spoke my thougts aloud about that prospect, which, quite probably may have being blasted right back through at the poor clerk and to all the customers at the Big Foot Amoco. oops! I drove off sans receipt.

GOD BLESS OUR PUBLIC SERVANTS
SO, I was running to the post office at that point, already behind in my lunch hour errands. Of course, there was a line, a long line. I went to the vending machine, opened my wallet and, had only $6, not enough for a $7.40 book of stamps. I put my one dollar bill in thinking I could get at least TWO measly stamps. in and out. in and out. My completely PERFECT dollar bill, valid US CURRENCY would not be accepted by a US GOVERNMENT FACILITY!!!!!! I give up and go wait in line. I have to buy book of stamps with my bank card. Postal employee says, "honey, your card is not signed so this can't be a credit." debit? yes, they do debit!! DO IT WOMAN FOR GODSAKES!

I get my stamps and rush off back, to work. I get to the parking lot and the car. no keys......i stand there and reflect, idiotically, about leaving my keys at the gas station........................................HELLO! how did I get HERE!! LIGHT BULB! I left them on top of the stamp machine. I rush back into the post office, run to the machine, they are NOT THERE!!

I sheepishly walk up to the counter, to hell with the line, and ask if any keys have been turned in? They very nice postal lady holds up my key chain and keys for all to see and sarcastically shakes them and waves them at me. In a sing-song voice she says "SPONGE BOB"???? yes, I have a sponge bob key chain. The entire post office erupted into laughter as I snatched the keys back, thanking the would be comic moonlighting as a US Postal Service employee.

COOP DAY GRACE
After work, I went to the grocery store, carelessly tempting fate. Everything went remarkably smoothly. At the checkout, my purchases were scanned. I presented two coupons. "THESE ARE EXPIRED," sneered the checkout girl. Indeed, they were.....indeed they were. "WELL," her nastiness asked, "what do you want me to do with these?" you can ............................I said nothing so as not to get arrested. I came home, wrote this and went to bed..............

The sun'll come out tomorrow.....oh, shove it Annie.