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Alleged neighborhood feline terrorist, Mr Tuffy, aka Tuffers aka Monsieur Tuffee, was "caught" and blamed for a chemical attack on a neighbor's van today. Despite the fact that Mr Tuffy has lead a "fairly" exemplary life in his four years, the one-testicled kitty cat has been accused of "spraying" the interior of a neighbor's vehicle with his DNA. It is not clear at this time that anyone witnessed the atrocity however an on-going multi-lateral investigation is taking place.

Despite the presence of numerous shady and suspect caticatures in the area. Mr Tuffy has been singled out as the number one suspect. Owner, "me", was quoted as saying "...since our single testicle cat has never done anything like this in four years of his life, it is highly surprising that a cat, generally shy of others would crawl into someone else's vehicle and spread his joy, so to speak...."

Still, hysterical neighborhood residents insist that Mr Tuffy is a threat to the well-being of their grass and carpets. Suggestions of what would amount to a half-neutering are being made. Threats of police action have been tossed about freely in the instance that Mr Tuffy's singular masculine attribute is not nipped in the bud.

Although Mr Tuffy's owners are seriously considering the charges against their kitty cat, the owners suspect that Mr Tuffy's accusers are guilty of species profiling and, in general, special prejudice. "All cats, especially males, look the same and are all sexually charged up. I personally think their kit n kaboodle is laced with viagra"....states the owner of Mr Tuff Tuff.

Until it has been determined the perpetrator of the crime, Mr Tuffyshmoo, has been under house arrest. Vistors, Miss Madison, adoptive mother and Ms Emmy, aka Emms aka Emily Latella aka Emmyshmoo aka Emsmerelda aka Emma aka Emily Bronte aka shut the hell up, along with Wardens Pibby and Kent Alan are keeping a close eye on the heretofore law-abidng Mr Tuffs.

Also, an all-points bulletin is being issued with for the Barks-Alot gang and the Dogs for Dinner family who reside in the area.

Peace! OUT! WOOF!